2 in a room but only 1's there

Do you ever feel like someone doesn't wanna be around you? or that they are only being around you out of expectation or obligation? I feel so alone. I have dreams about feeling alone. I wanna have deep conversation....or shit any conversation would be nice. I wanna connect.  Maybe I need to much attention.. I duno I just wanna do things with someone else. I wanna share my life with some one else who I feel like really wants to be there with me having these experiences with me. I go on walks alone, I go shopping alone, I watch tv alone. I want to share my fucking life. Why is that so much to ask for? Don't get my wrong I like doing things alone but whats the point of being with someone else when you feel alone more than half the time. I feel deflated....unwanted...unattractive. i feel like we both feel alone and www._____.com will always be more interesting to you.


"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone." ~Robbin Williams

The siren call

I constantly feel like I'm not living the life I was meant to live and I don't know what that means. I can remember these vivid day dreams I would have when I was younger about how I would be and what I would do and my life is quickly punching the time clock and here I am copping feels on other people dreams hearing musicians or seeing people performing and wishing i could just be that honest..that naked...and that true. again.

when the recording ends i get sad. i wanna climb inside it and go back there to that moment. i wanna be that girl again. Who am I now and who are you now. who were we then?  life ends a little every fucking day. I want a fucking refund. or at least slide me some drugs under the table so i can pretend again.



I hope im not the 30 year old quarter back, talkin bout" back in the day....". How sad. I am.